In His Light

   Today has been a wonderful day. Most of my days are. God is so very good to me. I am not a rich person in the sense of money, but I have everything I could possibly want or need. My life is full to overflowing. I am not going to say that I don't get sad or discouraged some times, but it does not last very long. Someone told me a long time ago that there is always someone going through something worse than what you are going through. I live by that creed. And by the fact that I know God will not give me anything that HE can not handle. I know that I do not have to handle anything alone.

  Sammi has been off this week from school because of the county fair. We have had a wonderful time.  She didn't want to go to the fair. I think it was because she has been blessed twice this summer by going to King's Island. Once with her Uncle Shawn and Aunt Jess, and once with her Aunt Jami and Uncle Marc. I am so very glad that they include her so much. She doesn't really have anyone other than family. Poor thing is almost like an only child because her "sisters and brother" are so much older than her. I hate to see this week end because she will have to go back to school and I will miss her so much.

God is good. Be blessed.

Have you ever sat in a room full of people and felt so lonely you could just cry?

I don't know if it is because you miss someone or another time. Or is it because you can talk and no one hears you?

There are times that missing my mother sweeps pure unadulterated loneliness through me. So over whelming that I feel as if it were yesterday.

Then there are times that my invisability makes me feel lonely.  You know when you say something and there is no response or you are in the middle of a sentence and someone else starts talking and it is like you voice could not be heard.  Or later someone says well you never told me that.

Personally I have gotten to the point where I don't talk much. Spend more time on the computer than I do with humans :P. It responds better.

Sometimes it is like talking with little kids that are playing a game.

I am having a real hard time with some of these jail sentences I have seen lately.  You sell drugs you get 25 years to life. You kill someone and you get 20 years.  I wonder who it making the rules?  Is a life not more important than that?  I see where these parents kill their children and their sentence includes that chance for parole?  When you take a child and whack it up against the wall until they are no longer breathing you need to spend the rest of your life in jail. I don't care if you were out of your mind on drugs or alcohol. I don't care if you are mentally ill. You need to spend the rest of your life locked up. That child will no longer have the chance to cure cancer, find a new star, or even smile or laugh.

The taking of a life has become so common place that heads are just turned. "oh my gosh, another parent killed their child".  Humanity needs to start standing up. I don't know what we can do, but I know I am going to find out. 

And what is up with this plea bargaining crap? I can understand the wanting to save tax payers money from the trial but we need much stiffer penalties when someone does plea bargains.  I remember a local case a few years ago where a man was going around beating up and raping women, I think 17 in all before he was caught. When he got to court they proved he had muliple personalities. Okay well throw him in jail and you will have the right person. No instead he went to a mental health hospital for a year and was released. I bet that really made all of those women feel better. 

A person who gets drunk and gets behind the wheel of a car, has an accident and kills someone needs to be held accountable. They CHOSE to have that drink. They CHOSE to drive. It is just like using a loaded gun, only it is a much larger weapon.

Well I just had to vent.

  I see all of the missing and it saddens me. My heart breaks for the children stolen from the streets or even their own homes. The adults male and female taken. So many lives destroyed. The horrendous things that adults do to these children before taking their life. How can anyone harm another like this especially the children. Most of this that I read I do not like to delve too far into. I don't want to know what their last moments were like, I want to believe that God takes them away and holds them while these things are done to them. As I sat today and pondered why, I realized there was only one answer. Our morals have fallen to this standard. People blame pornography or video games or some other crazy thing. When actually it just comes down to morals. If we all held each other to the strong moral code that our grandparents did things would be so different. I could never imagine saying a curse word in front of my grandparents let alone the stuff people do today. We so need to bring our moral standards back up to par. The way we talk, dress, eat, behave, and express need to be attended to. The heck with freedom of speech, and they are just finding themselves. Bring back the woodshed and the soap and get this country back in order.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. To all of the mothers out there I wish you a most wonderful day. Filled with the laughter and love of your children. To all the children out there I wish you to be the best child you can be. It isn't about the gifts! It is about the companionship. I would give up every gift that I have ever been given for the time. The time to laugh and love my children. The time to have an adult conversation with them now that they are grown. To just hug them. Time to just sit and laugh or cry with them. I know my children love me. I have three bio kids and 2 step children whom I love like my own. Will I see any of them tomorrow? No. Most of them will call, but not one will take the time out of their schedule to come and just sit, have a cup of coffee, share a laugh.

I lost my Mother 15 years ago and Mother's day doesn't get any easier. I miss her so much and during this time it seems like I miss her more.

Remember above all else TIME is the most important thing that you can give someone.

I love my computer. I see God in it everyday. In theBible versus I read, in the Bible studies I receive, in the family that I can keep in touch with, in all of my new wonderful friends. The computer can be your downfall if you choose for it to be. There is so very much that you can find out there, if you choose. You can choose to use it for good or you can choose it for evil. I choose the good. The friends that I never would have met, from Ill. to overseas. The Christians that I have wonderful discussions with. The family that lives far enough away that sometimes I can't see for months, we have wonderful insightful conversations.

The opprotunities that the computer affords us is wonderful. My Dad got to read the Dead Sea Scrolls. Do you think he would have been able to do that in this small town if he did not have the computer at his fingertips?

Use what you have, go places you could never have the chance to go, meet people that you would never have the chance to meet.

BE SAFE. Don't be gullible. Just as in face to face life, don't trust people immediately. Don't trust every word you read. Research a little. If you download a free Bible make sure that it is what you want. If not, delete.

Leave your children a legacy. Write your "biography." Childhood memories for your children to read. Think how you would feel if you had the words of a loved one that you could go back and read.  Start a free web site for your passion. Love doing cards, scrapbooking, Bible studies, family?? You can share your passion with others. And probably meet a lot of new friends along the way.

Explore, research, meet, and enjoy!

As we celebrate this day please take time to reflect on those who have given us our life as we know it. The men and women who have so graciously went to the front lines for our freedoms.  All those who stay behind the lines and keep things running smoothly. All of those that have died in battle to save our our lifestyle.

And the most important One who went to battle for us and gave the ultimate sacrifice. Yes I am talking about Jesus. He fought the hardest battle for us. He paid the ultimate price for us. So on this Memorial Day let us take the tim to reflect and thank our greatest Soldier. The first Soldier that went to battle for us.

I have heard that there is new legislature that is being voted on that will make it a crime to speak your mind. if passed you will not be able to speak out about gay marriage without the threat of going to jail. You will not be able to argue the point of why someone should not worship Budha. You will not be able to state that your God teaches you that it is not right for a man to lay with a man and a woman to lay with a woman. Basically you will not be able to speak up about what is right and what is wrong. You will have to agree and tolerate anything that people want to do. God did not put us here to judge others, but he did give us a mind and a direction book. If they pass this so called "hate law" would you be willing to go to jail for your God? That is what it is coming to. And people say the end times are not near.

Just think about it. Would you be willing to go to jail for Him?

Today is a bad day for our little one! Let me explain a little.  We have our 8 yr old granddaughter who lives with us. We are now Mom and Dad to her and that is what she calls us. She has been here for most of her life. We deeply love her and would have it no other way. But oh my somedays are really hard. I know what I would have done to my children if their mouths over ran their haed but this is a different time and I just don't feel right smacking her mouth or her butt for that matter. Sometimes she just drives us nuts, but most of the time she is just a special joy to have around. Of course she comes out with things that are way too old for her, but she lives with old people, so what can we expect? She is a very avid Christian and loves God with all her heart. But I guess she is just at that age where her mouth is too big for her. Just keep us in your prayers. I praise and thank God for her.

Have you ever wondered how all your children turn out so different? I mean they are usually all raised the same. With the same values, by the same person. And in my case I have 3 completely different people. Not that I want them all to be clones! But come on!!! Individualism is one thing, but sometimes it is downright ridiculous. My oldest daughter and I fought like crazy while she was growing up, after she was grown we became very good friends.  She lives in Florida now and I hardly ever see her, seldom get to talk to her and pray constantly that her and my grandchildren are okay. She is a nice young lady, but she says things in front of me and uses language in front of me that I NEVER would have disrespected my mother with. I just don't understand, she wasn't raised with those words. I guess that is what being away from home does for you. My second daughter and I probably had the least in common when she was growing up. She gave me fits. Not that she did drugs and stuff, but she was a school skipper and a drinker. She still drinks now and I pray that God will take ahold of her and make her put the bottle down. She is a wonderful person! She doesn't smoke, prays and believes in God, and she is raising someone else's daughter as her own. She is a great friend to me and many others. Loves her older sister unconditionally even though she can not understand how she can distance herself so far from the rest of the family, and she misses her terribly and I know it hurts her that her sister doesn't seem to miss her at all. Now my youngest daughter is a whole other story. She cares only for herself. She lived with a man for years, had 2 beautiful children, gave them away, and has now decided that she is a lesbian. She knows how God feels about this, but I guess she thinks her carnal pleasure is worth an eternal damnation. She lies about stupid things and forgets to tell people about the important things. She left yesterday to go out of town for 10 days and forgot to tell her dad and I that she was going (and she lives in our house). We are raising her daughter and my sister (God bless her) is raising her son. She has pretty much nothing to do with either child and wants to sign away any rights she has to them so that she won't have to pay child support.  You could ask this child if it was raining out and she would tell you no when it was pouring. I love all three of my daughters, but that youngest one is more defiant now then she ever was growing up. Unfortunately I have had to ask her to move out. She is not a good influence on Sammi, and she has started to faunt the lesbian thing in our face and in everyone else's face and I will not have it. It is time for her to move on and me too I guess.

May God bless you and keep you.

In His Light Forgiven